Hercules Review

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Bravo Mr. Ratner. Well done. You must really be so proud of this little marketing troll you pulled off. Everything you saw in the Hercules trailer was a lie. The movie Hercules (starring Dwayne Johnson) is VERY different to the one you’re been sold on in the trailers. I must warn you of this, in case you’re unfamiliar with the film’s graphic novel roots. The fact is that Hercules: The Thracian Wars by the late Steve Moore could have been turned into a modern classic in the right hands. They had a shot at something great here, and they blew it.

The Plot

The film takes place after Hercules has supposedly endured his legendary twelve labours. He and his merry band of mercenaries now roam the lands looking for their next sword-for-hire gig and things get really hairy when they’re hired by the King of Thrace and his daughter to defeat a tyrannical warlord.

The Target

Fans of Scooby Doo, and those who like those true-story-behind-the-legend movies.

Hercules

The Bottom Line

If this is supposed to be a semi-realistic Hercules movie then why the hell is there no blood when people should clearly be getting sliced in half? This would have been a marginally better outing if Ratner and the studio had the balls to make a gorier film instead of aiming at the PG-13 crowd.

The clear winner in this disjointed tale is undoubtedly Dwanye Johnsson and one of the most frustrating things about the film is that as admirable as he is in the role, it seems as though everything around the actor is trying to rob him of the truly great Hercules movie that could have been. That being said, this is more of a barbarian tale than Greek mythology. The real truth here is that the legend of Hercules would have probably ended up being a far better film.

Hercules

No stranger to comedy, Brett Rattner has tried to add in some crowd-pleasing moments – a few of which were shown in the trailer, so I wasn’t laughing when I saw them on screen because they were way funnier when taken out of context. When the picture comes full circle and our band of mercenaries-turned-selfless-heroes gear up for the final showdown, the film finally started to become interesting again, but then – just like that. It was gone and we were firmly in throwaway blockbuster territory again. This is the worst role I’ve ever had the displeasure of seeing John Hurt play and in the last fifteen minutes of the film I wanted nothing more than to see his character die in the goriest, worst way possible. I think I may need help…

The fact that this film is being released exactly a week after Guardians of The Galaxy isn’t going to do much to add to it’s popularity either. I mean, Marvel has proven that a talking raccoon and a tree are more entertaining than a film starring The Rock as Hercules.
Brett Rattner has succeeding in removing the glad from gladiator.

  • Anthony Nell

    this movie was utter poo, I want the two hours of my life back. Actually, scratch that, I want the week of my life back that it felt like while sitting through this.